Thursday, April 08, 2010
Doesn't the government know that education is important?
song: train - hey soul sister
well, it's definitely been a while. let's recap:
on the not-so-bright side of things, i gained a lot of weight on my trip. yes, i gained some weight on our family cruise in december (about 7 lbs?), which raised me from about 120 to a consistent 127. luckily, it was fairly easy to get back to the 121-123 range when i got back to santa clara.
but it seems my birthday trip was really a food tour of asia. our days in shanghai and HK were planned around what we were going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (and several coffee/snack breaks in between). when i got to the philippines, i always ended up eating each meal twice.
so, i'm at a consistent 130lbs now, and it doesn't seem to be coming off. i told myself that i'd start running in april, which technically i did. but i only ran twice, and my eating habits haven't improved. boo. but the worst thing is....i'm getting used to the weight. other than having trouble fitting into my clothes (or not being able to at all), i'm........settling into my fatness. THIS IS BAD NEWS BEARS.
the job search
job hunting really sucks. it's very depressing and it's put chris and i at odds with each other a lot. my lack of subbing opportunities has given me the entire workweek to just sit around the apt like a lamer. with all this extra time to contemplate life, i've realized, for new reasons, that i do not enjoy being in santa clara. i feel like i'm wasting my life away, because i stayed in santa clara to stay with chris, even after i stopped going to school. i'm following chris around california like a frickin puppy. it makes me resent looking for a job in LA. and on top of that, we're fighting about all this crap because he's acting like i'm not trying hard enough to find a job.
it's really depressing. our 5 year relationship is probably hinging on whether i can find a job and move with chris. if i can't find a job, i can't move with chris, and i'm going to feel like i failed at keeping our relationship together. in actuality, i should feel bad for not being able to find a job, but no, i'm going to have this irrational guilt that i broke us up. it's ridiculous.
in other news, i've been reading "J"'s blog (that's a nod to you, "J"). it seems like she's really honest about everything, even if that means she sounds narcissistic, alcoholic, and spoiled rotten. usually people want to paint themselves as nicely as possible, and although i kinda worry that she IS an alcoholic, i do appreciate her bluntness. i just can't imagine the how she could do all this.
::hand signal:: CONNECTION! it's like when i found out that K is one of those guys who just sleeps with anyone when he's single. i thought one night stands and all that stuff was just for shallow, self absorbed and/or insecure people (kinda like K's roomie, S). but K does it too! and i guess J had her fill of casual sex after her monumental break up. i don't know why it bothers me...maybe i'm just intrigued. perhaps i've grown up thinking you can't be a good person AND be self absorbed and promiscuous at the same time. maybe i've been wrong all this time.
hmm.
well, it's definitely been a while. let's recap:
- chris got into UCLA for his MBA. i threw him a surprise dinner at yuki to celebrate his acceptance. we're trying to move to LA by june, but i can only join him if i find a job. thanks, LA unified school district, for having one of the biggest and longest lasting teacher lay-offs ever. and thanks, california, for appointing arnold to office, because even if it wasn't entirely his fault, he definitely didn't help.
- chris broke our "Good steak for your birthday" tradition and got me the best birthday present to date: a trip to China and the Philippines! reminder that all photos are on fb, or at least the ones worth keeping.
- china: had an awesome time hanging out with Curtis and Lea. i wish they lived closer to us, and to each other. they announced their engagement on chinese new year, yay!!! spent my birthday in Shanghai and ate all you can eat sushi (plus meat). awesome!
- philippines: chris stayed in the philippines long enough to attend dada king's 80th birthday celebration. i think everyone had a good time. dad and i caught up with mom in cebu, and visited lolo in the hospital almost every day, sometimes twice or thrice if the visits were very short. stayed a week in manila with dada king. man, he's my kind of guy. breakfast, sudoku, nap, lunch, nap.... :)
on the not-so-bright side of things, i gained a lot of weight on my trip. yes, i gained some weight on our family cruise in december (about 7 lbs?), which raised me from about 120 to a consistent 127. luckily, it was fairly easy to get back to the 121-123 range when i got back to santa clara.
but it seems my birthday trip was really a food tour of asia. our days in shanghai and HK were planned around what we were going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (and several coffee/snack breaks in between). when i got to the philippines, i always ended up eating each meal twice.
so, i'm at a consistent 130lbs now, and it doesn't seem to be coming off. i told myself that i'd start running in april, which technically i did. but i only ran twice, and my eating habits haven't improved. boo. but the worst thing is....i'm getting used to the weight. other than having trouble fitting into my clothes (or not being able to at all), i'm........settling into my fatness. THIS IS BAD NEWS BEARS.
the job search
job hunting really sucks. it's very depressing and it's put chris and i at odds with each other a lot. my lack of subbing opportunities has given me the entire workweek to just sit around the apt like a lamer. with all this extra time to contemplate life, i've realized, for new reasons, that i do not enjoy being in santa clara. i feel like i'm wasting my life away, because i stayed in santa clara to stay with chris, even after i stopped going to school. i'm following chris around california like a frickin puppy. it makes me resent looking for a job in LA. and on top of that, we're fighting about all this crap because he's acting like i'm not trying hard enough to find a job.
it's really depressing. our 5 year relationship is probably hinging on whether i can find a job and move with chris. if i can't find a job, i can't move with chris, and i'm going to feel like i failed at keeping our relationship together. in actuality, i should feel bad for not being able to find a job, but no, i'm going to have this irrational guilt that i broke us up. it's ridiculous.
in other news, i've been reading "J"'s blog (that's a nod to you, "J"). it seems like she's really honest about everything, even if that means she sounds narcissistic, alcoholic, and spoiled rotten. usually people want to paint themselves as nicely as possible, and although i kinda worry that she IS an alcoholic, i do appreciate her bluntness. i just can't imagine the how she could do all this.
::hand signal:: CONNECTION! it's like when i found out that K is one of those guys who just sleeps with anyone when he's single. i thought one night stands and all that stuff was just for shallow, self absorbed and/or insecure people (kinda like K's roomie, S). but K does it too! and i guess J had her fill of casual sex after her monumental break up. i don't know why it bothers me...maybe i'm just intrigued. perhaps i've grown up thinking you can't be a good person AND be self absorbed and promiscuous at the same time. maybe i've been wrong all this time.
hmm.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Hey Friendo
song: Beyonce-Sweet Dream
In an attempt to procrastinate from cleaning up the apt, i'm going to write a blog entry! :) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, btw.
So, Ekit posted this pretty cool thing on fb. at first i didn't know what it was, since it kinda looks like one of those motivational posters (yenno, the kind that has a picture of a rockclimber with a caption that says DETERMINATION: (thoughtful insight in smaller font)). Anyway, i clicked on what Ekit posted, and it turned out to be a compilation of fb statuses that he's had throughout the year. Turned out to really sum up 2009 for him really well, so i clicked the button that said "Create Your Own!".
First of all, i've found that all my statuses are novels. I think Ekit fit twice as many statuses on his poster than i ever could, just cuz his were short and sweet like, "In line at Best Buy", and "love my friends", where as mine were "i'm still grumpy that SFO customs took my damn meat. they're probably eating it...right now. word to the wise: always check "No" on all the boxes in that immigrations form, NO MATTER WHAT. word to SFO: stop hiring IDIOTS who think austria is australia." (yes, that was just one), and "is eating day old ranch flavored popcorn, trying to find somewhere to watch the pacquaio fight in stockton". Both very true, but very long.
The app (Called "My-Year-In-Status" on fb's apps) generates a list of all your fb status posts, then organizes it by month. It's like a yearbook...nostalgic, funny, and sometimes embarrassing. i'm going to call it my "Personal YearList" as a yearbook derivation since it's not a book and there aren't any pictures. I'm posting it here because, like i said, all my statuses couldn't fit onto the fb app cuz they were too long.
After reading mine, i've found it's also a good jumping off point for my new year's resolutions... you know what they say: you can't know where you're going till you look at where you've gone. (That should be a motivational poster for REFLECTION)
Without further ado, here is my unabridged Personal YearList:
January
✓ is happy to have Lea and Curtis in Santa Clara
✓ is looking for an apt in san francisco! HELP!
✓ is getting braces tomorrow :X
✓ is apartment hunting!
✓ is tired of apartment hunting
✓ is rephrasing--she's discouraged by unsuccessful apartment hunting
✓ is going to tahoe! but too lazy to keep packing
✓ wants another vacation.
February
✓ is wishing she had better study habits
✓ wants to know who wants to kick it old school and go to boreal
✓ is twiddling her thumbs in stockton
✓ is thanking everyone for the birthday wishes! and is NOT hung over at all! yaay!
✓ has a lot of plans for this week
✓ wants to watch love and basketball with her 82 roomies
March
✓ is suprised at how much slower DSL is. :(
✓ is going to austria!!!!
✓ summertime in the lbc
April
✓ i'm still grumpy that SFO customs took my damn meat. they're probably eating it...right now. word to the wise: always check "No" on all the boxes in that immigrations form, NO MATTER WHAT. word to SFO: stop hiring IDIOTS who think austria is australia.
✓ i wanna go back to austria
✓ is back in stockton, wanting to take bailey to live with her in santa clara.... mew :(
✓ ucd alumni: you guys going to pcn this year?
✓ wants to cook tomorrow.
✓ love reading FML
✓ want to make my own eiskaffees and my own schlagober
May
✓ is eating day old ranch flavored popcorn, trying to find somewhere to watch the pacquaio fight in stockton
✓ Easy Peezy. Manny's too humble sometimes.
✓ hates talking to customer service. i feel your pain, christopher.
✓ HATES getting bogus parking tickets for parking in legit spaces.
✓ is sipping tea and feeling fancy. thanks dan and tina!
✓ misses clam chowder and dunkin donuts already
✓ listening to Lea Salonga in Miss Saigon makes me cry
June
✓ mmmm, peach lambic with vanilla ice cream
✓ loved the movie, "Up", and is excited to have a monkeywoman jacket!
✓ is wishing she still had email on her phone :(
✓ feels a twinge of pain when her braces get too close to aluminum foil (from a burrito) :(
✓ has been waking up at 5am every day this week.... i shake my fist at you, zion.
✓ loves the "tasks" feature on gmail. a handy dandy to-do list you can check off as you go!
✓ thinks the Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty from wendy's is too sweet....still hella eating it tho. :) ✓ loves eating at mom and dad's house :) .....plus they have a/c.
✓ is sunburned from golf yesterday. how does a brown person like me get sunburned!?
July
✓ wishes all her physical photo albums from the ol' days could scan themselves onto the computer.
✓ grad school = jumping thru hoops....very very specific, tedious hoops.
✓ still feels like tina gabriel
✓ feeling emo and wishing for more
✓ is enjoying family time :)
✓ is listening to "i wanna be your man" from the love and basketball soundtrack :) i need to buy that movie.
✓ feels hella moted!!!! but can't stop laughing about it
✓ (day old) Sprinkles (free) cupcakes FTW!
✓ anyone wanna watch The Ugly Truth tonight at camera 12?
August
✓ i love you, fb, for helping me find long lost friends. :)
✓ can i just say....i get hella, hella red.
✓ is using google calendar to organize her life!
✓ is a mario kart master!
September
✓ does anyone know how/where to find jenn dela cruz?
✓ feeling teeny boppy and wishing i was back in high school
✓ is doing laundry, and thinking, "i wonder if the term "laundering money" came from the idea of making dirty money clean."
✓ wishes awkward hair grow didnt exist
October
✓ i hate you facebook inbox that always loses the long messages i write!
November
✓ damn it feels good to be a teacher.
✓ 5.9s and 5.10s from here on out.
✓ anyone wanna watch new moon tomorrow with me and alysia?
✓ red velvet cupcakes with homemade frosting....SUCCESS!
December
✓ in NOLA, on our way to our caribbean cruise!
i should add to december (since i wasn't on fb much):
✓ is obsessed with 30Rock
✓ in love with Christopher
✓ can't fit into any of my pants since the cruise
✓ got a scale (for weighing myself) as a Christmas gift from Keiko...way to be subtle
✓ had a wonderful Christmas with family
✓ has moved from Cranium to Guesstures
✓ loves bailey's and hot chocolate
✓ wants to be a better teacher
Ah, a year in the life. anyway, it's January 2nd, and i should be heading out to stockton now to see family. i was hoping that by the time i finished writing this, Chris would wake up so i could say goodbye, but he's still dead asleep. It's NOON!
until next time. (didn't carmen sandiego always say that?)
In an attempt to procrastinate from cleaning up the apt, i'm going to write a blog entry! :) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, btw.
So, Ekit posted this pretty cool thing on fb. at first i didn't know what it was, since it kinda looks like one of those motivational posters (yenno, the kind that has a picture of a rockclimber with a caption that says DETERMINATION: (thoughtful insight in smaller font)). Anyway, i clicked on what Ekit posted, and it turned out to be a compilation of fb statuses that he's had throughout the year. Turned out to really sum up 2009 for him really well, so i clicked the button that said "Create Your Own!".
First of all, i've found that all my statuses are novels. I think Ekit fit twice as many statuses on his poster than i ever could, just cuz his were short and sweet like, "In line at Best Buy", and "love my friends", where as mine were "i'm still grumpy that SFO customs took my damn meat. they're probably eating it...right now. word to the wise: always check "No" on all the boxes in that immigrations form, NO MATTER WHAT. word to SFO: stop hiring IDIOTS who think austria is australia." (yes, that was just one), and "is eating day old ranch flavored popcorn, trying to find somewhere to watch the pacquaio fight in stockton". Both very true, but very long.
The app (Called "My-Year-In-Status" on fb's apps) generates a list of all your fb status posts, then organizes it by month. It's like a yearbook...nostalgic, funny, and sometimes embarrassing. i'm going to call it my "Personal YearList" as a yearbook derivation since it's not a book and there aren't any pictures. I'm posting it here because, like i said, all my statuses couldn't fit onto the fb app cuz they were too long.
After reading mine, i've found it's also a good jumping off point for my new year's resolutions... you know what they say: you can't know where you're going till you look at where you've gone. (That should be a motivational poster for REFLECTION)
Without further ado, here is my unabridged Personal YearList:
January
✓ is happy to have Lea and Curtis in Santa Clara
✓ is looking for an apt in san francisco! HELP!
✓ is getting braces tomorrow :X
✓ is apartment hunting!
✓ is tired of apartment hunting
✓ is rephrasing--she's discouraged by unsuccessful apartment hunting
✓ is going to tahoe! but too lazy to keep packing
✓ wants another vacation.
February
✓ is wishing she had better study habits
✓ wants to know who wants to kick it old school and go to boreal
✓ is twiddling her thumbs in stockton
✓ is thanking everyone for the birthday wishes! and is NOT hung over at all! yaay!
✓ has a lot of plans for this week
✓ wants to watch love and basketball with her 82 roomies
March
✓ is suprised at how much slower DSL is. :(
✓ is going to austria!!!!
✓ summertime in the lbc
April
✓ i'm still grumpy that SFO customs took my damn meat. they're probably eating it...right now. word to the wise: always check "No" on all the boxes in that immigrations form, NO MATTER WHAT. word to SFO: stop hiring IDIOTS who think austria is australia.
✓ i wanna go back to austria
✓ is back in stockton, wanting to take bailey to live with her in santa clara.... mew :(
✓ ucd alumni: you guys going to pcn this year?
✓ wants to cook tomorrow.
✓ love reading FML
✓ want to make my own eiskaffees and my own schlagober
May
✓ is eating day old ranch flavored popcorn, trying to find somewhere to watch the pacquaio fight in stockton
✓ Easy Peezy. Manny's too humble sometimes.
✓ hates talking to customer service. i feel your pain, christopher.
✓ HATES getting bogus parking tickets for parking in legit spaces.
✓ is sipping tea and feeling fancy. thanks dan and tina!
✓ misses clam chowder and dunkin donuts already
✓ listening to Lea Salonga in Miss Saigon makes me cry
June
✓ mmmm, peach lambic with vanilla ice cream
✓ loved the movie, "Up", and is excited to have a monkeywoman jacket!
✓ is wishing she still had email on her phone :(
✓ feels a twinge of pain when her braces get too close to aluminum foil (from a burrito) :(
✓ has been waking up at 5am every day this week.... i shake my fist at you, zion.
✓ loves the "tasks" feature on gmail. a handy dandy to-do list you can check off as you go!
✓ thinks the Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty from wendy's is too sweet....still hella eating it tho. :) ✓ loves eating at mom and dad's house :) .....plus they have a/c.
✓ is sunburned from golf yesterday. how does a brown person like me get sunburned!?
July
✓ wishes all her physical photo albums from the ol' days could scan themselves onto the computer.
✓ grad school = jumping thru hoops....very very specific, tedious hoops.
✓ still feels like tina gabriel
✓ feeling emo and wishing for more
✓ is enjoying family time :)
✓ is listening to "i wanna be your man" from the love and basketball soundtrack :) i need to buy that movie.
✓ feels hella moted!!!! but can't stop laughing about it
✓ (day old) Sprinkles (free) cupcakes FTW!
✓ anyone wanna watch The Ugly Truth tonight at camera 12?
August
✓ i love you, fb, for helping me find long lost friends. :)
✓ can i just say....i get hella, hella red.
✓ is using google calendar to organize her life!
✓ is a mario kart master!
September
✓ does anyone know how/where to find jenn dela cruz?
✓ feeling teeny boppy and wishing i was back in high school
✓ is doing laundry, and thinking, "i wonder if the term "laundering money" came from the idea of making dirty money clean."
✓ wishes awkward hair grow didnt exist
October
✓ i hate you facebook inbox that always loses the long messages i write!
November
✓ damn it feels good to be a teacher.
✓ 5.9s and 5.10s from here on out.
✓ anyone wanna watch new moon tomorrow with me and alysia?
✓ red velvet cupcakes with homemade frosting....SUCCESS!
December
✓ in NOLA, on our way to our caribbean cruise!
i should add to december (since i wasn't on fb much):
✓ is obsessed with 30Rock
✓ in love with Christopher
✓ can't fit into any of my pants since the cruise
✓ got a scale (for weighing myself) as a Christmas gift from Keiko...way to be subtle
✓ had a wonderful Christmas with family
✓ has moved from Cranium to Guesstures
✓ loves bailey's and hot chocolate
✓ wants to be a better teacher
Ah, a year in the life. anyway, it's January 2nd, and i should be heading out to stockton now to see family. i was hoping that by the time i finished writing this, Chris would wake up so i could say goodbye, but he's still dead asleep. It's NOON!
until next time. (didn't carmen sandiego always say that?)
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Time to procrastinate
song in my head: "beggin.....yoOoOoU....", yenno, the one Aaron Carter danced to in DTWS.
The work i am currently trying to avoid is job searching.
Anyway, another thing i wanted to write about (and i'm not sure why, because it's pretty random), is how LAME Filipino magazine and newspaper articles/editorials are. they always use flowery words and overly long sentences, so much so that you think a report on the mayor cutting a ribbon is a 12 part, uber dramatic play. why do they do that? it's kinda like when 8th graders have to write an essay, and they use the thesaurus feature on Word to make them sound "smarter". it really pisses me off, and it really makes these writers sound horribly pretentious, a little flamboyant, and not very cultured. it also takes away their own writing voice (cuz they all sound the same), and makes the piece really annoying to read.
por ejemplo:
http://www.zeelifestylecebu.com/living_01.htm
oh, and did i mention all the typos?
anyway, some updates on my goals:
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car. (i think i need an ipod dock for this)
2) Read for fun. (currently reading "Wolf Totem")
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
um...yeah. still fail.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
thinking about applying for "My Parents' House" makeover tv show.
5) Improve Vantage
still haven't done this one....i've made plans, tho. i hope i dont suck.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
um...i dont think this will ever happen. i think i'll just be bitter forever on this one.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
i think being "bitter forever" is not helpful, but i've got my own issues to figure out. family can do whatever they want.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
kinda doing this. vee, espy, and keona came up to SF/San Jose this weekend, and i tried my best to hang out with them as much as possible.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
EFFF YOUUUUU SJSU!
10) Get a job. start my career.
tryyying....just gotta stop procrastinating.
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
i've been spending QT with brianna every weekend by baking something. today is the first day we've actually succeeded in making something both LOOK and TASTE good.
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
i feeel sooooo fat.....
The work i am currently trying to avoid is job searching.
- will answer phones for food. out of desperation, i've decided to try and branch out and look for some kind of admin job on top of looking for a teaching position. this means i have to update/redo my resume to reflect adminny type skills. it's harder than i thought, and i'm a quitter: i tried retrofitting my teacher resume (cuz i really like the layout), but after maybe 20 minutes i gave up cuz i don't know how to make any kind of admin position or skill sound important and/or something only i possess. I can type 95wpm, WOO! I know MS Office, WOO! I know how to answer phones...WOO!? I really can't talk it up, especially after only 20 minutes of trying.
- .................. did i mention that i applied for a school related position that only requires a high school diploma, and i STILL didn't get a call back???
- online job applications. found a few teaching positions for schools in seattle (yes, california sucks that much, and washington is THAT cool). started filling out an online app for a position that seemed like a particularly good fit, and was working hard on the essay questions when i clicked on a bookmark without pressing ctrl+click like nathan taught me so that it'd open in a new tab. so of course when i press the "back" button, none of my essay questions are saved. i get mad and never finish (or rather, rewrite) my app. i almost thought about it today, but instead i'm writing this blog. bad choices, trish; bad choices.
Anyway, another thing i wanted to write about (and i'm not sure why, because it's pretty random), is how LAME Filipino magazine and newspaper articles/editorials are. they always use flowery words and overly long sentences, so much so that you think a report on the mayor cutting a ribbon is a 12 part, uber dramatic play. why do they do that? it's kinda like when 8th graders have to write an essay, and they use the thesaurus feature on Word to make them sound "smarter". it really pisses me off, and it really makes these writers sound horribly pretentious, a little flamboyant, and not very cultured. it also takes away their own writing voice (cuz they all sound the same), and makes the piece really annoying to read.
por ejemplo:
http://www.zeelifestylecebu.com/living_01.htm
oh, and did i mention all the typos?
anyway, some updates on my goals:
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car. (i think i need an ipod dock for this)
2) Read for fun. (currently reading "Wolf Totem")
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
um...yeah. still fail.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
thinking about applying for "My Parents' House" makeover tv show.
5) Improve Vantage
still haven't done this one....i've made plans, tho. i hope i dont suck.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
um...i dont think this will ever happen. i think i'll just be bitter forever on this one.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
i think being "bitter forever" is not helpful, but i've got my own issues to figure out. family can do whatever they want.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
kinda doing this. vee, espy, and keona came up to SF/San Jose this weekend, and i tried my best to hang out with them as much as possible.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
EFFF YOUUUUU SJSU!
10) Get a job. start my career.
tryyying....just gotta stop procrastinating.
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
i've been spending QT with brianna every weekend by baking something. today is the first day we've actually succeeded in making something both LOOK and TASTE good.
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
i feeel sooooo fat.....
Friday, July 17, 2009
update on 2009 goals
song in my head: alicia keys-you dont know my name
i posted some "new years resolution" type things to do in late february, and i'm just updating on what i've accomplished so far:
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car.
this hasn't happened, but i have gotten a few "new" mixed cds for my car, and i've learned that using my ipod shuffle for my auxilliary input has been awesome. listening to a wider music selection makes me very happy.
2) Read for fun.
DID IT! DOING IT! i got into Wicked and am also reading the Time Traveler's Wife. I'm enjoying them both, and it's weird that i TTW between breaks of reading required texts for my classes, cuz it technically doesn't give my eyes or brain any break time. it just feels enjoyable, like reading up on a friend's life or something.
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
um...yeah. fail. i'm not home as much as i used to be, but i do try to bike him at least once while i'm home on the weekends. sometimes that doesn't happen cuz i'm lazy and it's super hot.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
i think i'll just hope and pray that if i send pictures of the livingroom to ratemyspace, they'll see the travesty and fix it themselves. ::crossing fingers:: i'll do that this weekend
5) Improve Vantage=teach my dad that he needs to be a little more practical, even if it means to be less giving.
so i worked for vantage for a couple of months, and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. my dad's still a softy, but the business is fine thanks to girlie.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
um...i dont think this will ever happen. i think i'll just be bitter forever on this one.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
i think being "bitter forever" is not helpful, but i've got my own issues to figure out. family can do whatever they want.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
CHECK! the vegas trip was totally awesome, and just like old times. except we're all older, wiser, and hotter. except for me and my short hair and braces. i miss my girls, and i'm so glad we got to go on this trip together.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
seriously! SJSU sucks for supporting me in this. i might haveta drop my research methods class. it's supposedly a 'supplementary' class to prep me for the official research class, but all it's doing is making me jump through more hoops
10) Get a job. start my career.
seriously! i don't think it's gonna happen cuz SJSU is being stupid and not giving me the support i need.
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
so i did have a cooking phase earlier, and i made a bunch of stuff. pochero, bistek, even homemade lumpia and sinigang. but then i stopped cooking again. hmm.
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
yeah. i think i should just quit and save myself $54 a month. boo. :(
i posted some "new years resolution" type things to do in late february, and i'm just updating on what i've accomplished so far:
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car.
this hasn't happened, but i have gotten a few "new" mixed cds for my car, and i've learned that using my ipod shuffle for my auxilliary input has been awesome. listening to a wider music selection makes me very happy.
2) Read for fun.
DID IT! DOING IT! i got into Wicked and am also reading the Time Traveler's Wife. I'm enjoying them both, and it's weird that i TTW between breaks of reading required texts for my classes, cuz it technically doesn't give my eyes or brain any break time. it just feels enjoyable, like reading up on a friend's life or something.
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
um...yeah. fail. i'm not home as much as i used to be, but i do try to bike him at least once while i'm home on the weekends. sometimes that doesn't happen cuz i'm lazy and it's super hot.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
i think i'll just hope and pray that if i send pictures of the livingroom to ratemyspace, they'll see the travesty and fix it themselves. ::crossing fingers:: i'll do that this weekend
5) Improve Vantage=teach my dad that he needs to be a little more practical, even if it means to be less giving.
so i worked for vantage for a couple of months, and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. my dad's still a softy, but the business is fine thanks to girlie.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
um...i dont think this will ever happen. i think i'll just be bitter forever on this one.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
i think being "bitter forever" is not helpful, but i've got my own issues to figure out. family can do whatever they want.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
CHECK! the vegas trip was totally awesome, and just like old times. except we're all older, wiser, and hotter. except for me and my short hair and braces. i miss my girls, and i'm so glad we got to go on this trip together.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
seriously! SJSU sucks for supporting me in this. i might haveta drop my research methods class. it's supposedly a 'supplementary' class to prep me for the official research class, but all it's doing is making me jump through more hoops
10) Get a job. start my career.
seriously! i don't think it's gonna happen cuz SJSU is being stupid and not giving me the support i need.
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
so i did have a cooking phase earlier, and i made a bunch of stuff. pochero, bistek, even homemade lumpia and sinigang. but then i stopped cooking again. hmm.
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
yeah. i think i should just quit and save myself $54 a month. boo. :(
Friday, May 29, 2009
STILL can't sleep
listening to: Lea Salonga.
She's awesome. i'm in stockton at the moment; drove back for Viel's high school graduation this saturday. also, i didnt have anything to do in santa clara. Some updates:
Travel:
went to Boston with chris for memorial day weekend. stayed with kassel and arvid, who showed us a wicked good time. i had like 8 bowls of clam chowder, and i bought a boston hoodie. i also took a bunch of pictures, which i will eventually post on facebook. everytime we travel outside california, i'm amazed at how much more awesome things are. really, santa clara/stockton suck. there's just no way around it: it's built into the infrastructure of the cities. given, stockton isn't as big as boston, but san jose is (i think). big enough, at least. it's a real downer the more i think about it. i wish i could travel more, just to get away from all the blah.
School:
has been a bitch. i got notice from my lender that i need to go back to school or start repaying my loan. i also found out that because i havent thought of a research question yet, i'm bound to yet another full year (including a summer) of school in order to finish. I got a lame parking ticket while trying to shuffle some paperwork to the financial aid and registrar's office, and i've been going back and forth and back and forth trying to add classes i need for the summer. i'm still technically not in one of them, and it may or may not start next week (i wouldn't know, since i'm not enrolled). on the up side, the masters colloquium was a couple of weeks ago, and i enjoyed watching/seeing everyone's work. come to think of it, the graduation ceremony happened while i was in boston. hmm. at least i'm not the only one who didnt graduate yet, although i may the the only one who hasn't been doing anything worthwhile with all the extra time. I think maybe 1/3 of us finished this year. Hopefully when i finish next year, i'll see some familiar faces.
Work:
it's been ok. because of summer school, whenever that will be, i have to give up my only lunch shift. there have also been a bunch of new waitresses training for the new restaurant that opens next month. that's kinda fun, and it's interesting to feel like a veteran waitress when i know i still suck pretty hard at it. it's paradoxical. oh, and i'm poor because i havent been making enough money.
Vegas:
i was telling fonz and nathan how i havent been out to a club for like a year because 1) chris doesn't like "the scene" and 2) chris mocks me when i dance, which makes him no fun to dance with. and how me and my 82 roomies always had so much fun going out to the cluuuubs together. which led me to the fact that i havent been to a club in vegas. which led me to think that i should plan a trip with them to vegas and get the best of both worlds. so i sent out a message on facebook, and we've been talking back and forth just like the good ol days ever since. everyone has booked their ticket to vegas for this july 10th, and i'm really excited to go... mostly because it's 82, but also because it's vegas and i get to leave santa clara.
Diet:
which leads me to the way i usually do vegas: the fatty fatty way. i've gone to vegas twice in my adult life, and both times consisted of just staying in buffets all day and not setting foot in a single bar or club. i'm so lame. so this time, i wanna live my single lady life (as in, not married), and party it up, especially since it's been forever since the last time i went out. but i feel so fat (-1). plus i cut my hair (-1) (which IIIII think is more stylish, but less beautiful), PLUS i got braces, which i'm sure takes me down at least another 2 points on the attractiveness scale. can't grow my hair out by july, and i cant take my braces off, so i'm hoping i can at least feel a little less fat. so i'm trying to eat less, because i figure it's more passive than exercising more.
eating less sucks. i'm irritable, exhausted, and i just think everything sucks. there is no more joy in the world. and to base my happiness and general outlook on life on food, come to think of it, sucks even harder. I DONT CARE. i dont even like my boyfriend as much. on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being zomg gushing grossly with uncontrollable love, my baseline of how much i like my boyfriend is usually around an 8, so still kinda gross. i get spikes of 9 weekly, and 10s monthly, but now it's seriously like a 5, and i never get that low even if i'm mad at him. he hasn't done anything different and i feel like i'm practically hating him. this sucks. i dont even think i've lost any weight.
i've found some comfort tonight in listening to lea salonga. how lame does that sound. but really, her miss saigon stuff is great, and even her video recording of a whole new world was awesome. you can just FEEEEEEEL the emotion. i wish all music had this much of an affect on me.
also, watching so you think you can dance makes me really wish i could dance. yenno that feeling like, man, wouldn't it be so empowering and awesome to be able to manipulate your body and express yourself that way. and it made me really realize i can never be truly good at dancing. it's just something you're born with, i think. you can learn and practice all you want, but there's only so much grace and confidence you can learn. take shannon elizabeth on DWTS. she doesn't miss a single step, but she just doesn't move like a dancer.
anyway, i'm gonna try to sleep.
She's awesome. i'm in stockton at the moment; drove back for Viel's high school graduation this saturday. also, i didnt have anything to do in santa clara. Some updates:
Travel:
went to Boston with chris for memorial day weekend. stayed with kassel and arvid, who showed us a wicked good time. i had like 8 bowls of clam chowder, and i bought a boston hoodie. i also took a bunch of pictures, which i will eventually post on facebook. everytime we travel outside california, i'm amazed at how much more awesome things are. really, santa clara/stockton suck. there's just no way around it: it's built into the infrastructure of the cities. given, stockton isn't as big as boston, but san jose is (i think). big enough, at least. it's a real downer the more i think about it. i wish i could travel more, just to get away from all the blah.
School:
has been a bitch. i got notice from my lender that i need to go back to school or start repaying my loan. i also found out that because i havent thought of a research question yet, i'm bound to yet another full year (including a summer) of school in order to finish. I got a lame parking ticket while trying to shuffle some paperwork to the financial aid and registrar's office, and i've been going back and forth and back and forth trying to add classes i need for the summer. i'm still technically not in one of them, and it may or may not start next week (i wouldn't know, since i'm not enrolled). on the up side, the masters colloquium was a couple of weeks ago, and i enjoyed watching/seeing everyone's work. come to think of it, the graduation ceremony happened while i was in boston. hmm. at least i'm not the only one who didnt graduate yet, although i may the the only one who hasn't been doing anything worthwhile with all the extra time. I think maybe 1/3 of us finished this year. Hopefully when i finish next year, i'll see some familiar faces.
Work:
it's been ok. because of summer school, whenever that will be, i have to give up my only lunch shift. there have also been a bunch of new waitresses training for the new restaurant that opens next month. that's kinda fun, and it's interesting to feel like a veteran waitress when i know i still suck pretty hard at it. it's paradoxical. oh, and i'm poor because i havent been making enough money.
Vegas:
i was telling fonz and nathan how i havent been out to a club for like a year because 1) chris doesn't like "the scene" and 2) chris mocks me when i dance, which makes him no fun to dance with. and how me and my 82 roomies always had so much fun going out to the cluuuubs together. which led me to the fact that i havent been to a club in vegas. which led me to think that i should plan a trip with them to vegas and get the best of both worlds. so i sent out a message on facebook, and we've been talking back and forth just like the good ol days ever since. everyone has booked their ticket to vegas for this july 10th, and i'm really excited to go... mostly because it's 82, but also because it's vegas and i get to leave santa clara.
Diet:
which leads me to the way i usually do vegas: the fatty fatty way. i've gone to vegas twice in my adult life, and both times consisted of just staying in buffets all day and not setting foot in a single bar or club. i'm so lame. so this time, i wanna live my single lady life (as in, not married), and party it up, especially since it's been forever since the last time i went out. but i feel so fat (-1). plus i cut my hair (-1) (which IIIII think is more stylish, but less beautiful), PLUS i got braces, which i'm sure takes me down at least another 2 points on the attractiveness scale. can't grow my hair out by july, and i cant take my braces off, so i'm hoping i can at least feel a little less fat. so i'm trying to eat less, because i figure it's more passive than exercising more.
eating less sucks. i'm irritable, exhausted, and i just think everything sucks. there is no more joy in the world. and to base my happiness and general outlook on life on food, come to think of it, sucks even harder. I DONT CARE. i dont even like my boyfriend as much. on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being zomg gushing grossly with uncontrollable love, my baseline of how much i like my boyfriend is usually around an 8, so still kinda gross. i get spikes of 9 weekly, and 10s monthly, but now it's seriously like a 5, and i never get that low even if i'm mad at him. he hasn't done anything different and i feel like i'm practically hating him. this sucks. i dont even think i've lost any weight.
i've found some comfort tonight in listening to lea salonga. how lame does that sound. but really, her miss saigon stuff is great, and even her video recording of a whole new world was awesome. you can just FEEEEEEEL the emotion. i wish all music had this much of an affect on me.
also, watching so you think you can dance makes me really wish i could dance. yenno that feeling like, man, wouldn't it be so empowering and awesome to be able to manipulate your body and express yourself that way. and it made me really realize i can never be truly good at dancing. it's just something you're born with, i think. you can learn and practice all you want, but there's only so much grace and confidence you can learn. take shannon elizabeth on DWTS. she doesn't miss a single step, but she just doesn't move like a dancer.
anyway, i'm gonna try to sleep.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
cant sleep.
What is a girl to do when her (expensive) internet connection sucks?
Okay, it’s almost 3am. I’ve been battling insomnia lately; chris’ snoring doesn’t help, and neither does this ever so frustrating internet connection of mine. I turned my computer on at 1:54 and typed in gmail.com. it’s now 2:54 and I stillhaven’t been able to check my mail. It won’t even load the login page. I’ve been trying for the past hour!
Stupid, stupid Comcast. And btw, I hate their stupid Juno-songy new commercialsn with the bored monotonous “singing”. I shake my fist at you, Comcast.
As a result of my inability to sleep, I have gotten some unproductive things done. I have a lot of important things to do, like my taxes, and making various medical appts before I leave for Austria, or calling up my financial aid loan to extend my due date because I took the semester off and they’re likely to start billing me $26,000 by June instead of when I earn my degree? I still also haveta reapply for FAFSA.
I’ve probably lost out on a lot of aid money since it’s already the end of march and the economy sucks in general. Stupid budget crisis. Oh, and I still haven’t applied for my credential, another important thing. I’ve followed up on none of those things during my countless waking hours. But what I have done is watch a ton of clips on youtube. Found out I like Carrie Underwood. Also transferred all my old media from the desktop at home to my laptop. I had stuff like Craig David music videos, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, and all the music I downloaded while I was living in the dorms in davis. I also found a bunch of pictures I forgot I had. It was nice looking through them, and I decided, because I had nothing else to do, to post them on facebook at 5:30 in the morning for everyone to enjoy.
Speaking of facebook, I hate the new layout. Dunno where anything is, and makes facebook less of a mind numbing time killing tool because the usual mind numbing activities (looking at pictures, reading other people’s comments) take energy to actually find. For some reason, fb didn’t tell me that anyone commented on the pics I posted. For a second there, I thought nobody saw them, or cared. Not that facebook design flaws matter at all if I DON’T HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION. It’s 3:03 now, btw.
My dad told me the last time I couldn’t sleep that I should try exercising to get myself tired………….Right. I totally don’t have the willpower to do that while it’s daytime, let alone this late at night. I’m totally not enjoying this sleeplessness. On Thursday, I didn’t sleep at all till 7:30am, and once I did, I had to wake up at 9:30 anyway for work. I also have been noticing my obsessive nature with food. I can’t stop myself from ordering too much, and eating too much. Clarification: I do stop myself from being painfully full, but I still go a several bites past “full enough”.
Woohoo! I’m connected! (3:12). It’s kinda sad how much of a necessity the internet is for me (and a lot of other people, I’m sure). It’s like not having electricity or water for an hour, or however long you haveta go without when you wanna use it. …….and it’s gone again. Jesus. I quit. I’m calling them tomorrow. We’re due for another promotion anyway.
Let’s see, what else is new. Curtis flew out to Austria today, and we had a goodbye dinner for him on Sunday with his family, and with just the three of us (chris, Curtis and i) on Monday at the Counter. Mmm, the Counter. It was nice having him around. I think it made me and chris do more than just watch TV and eat dinner. Or maybe it’s just like that age old question of “if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it really make a sound?”, corny I know, but because Chris and I spend so much time together alone at home, it kinda all blends together and we don’t know where our time went. So at least when there’s someone else around, we have more reason to go out and entertain, or even just do more stuff at home, like play video games we haven’t touched in a while, or watch some of our favorite DVDs. It was kinda like that too when Fonz lived with us for a while, except after like a couple weeks, he just settled comfortably into our routine of doing nothing at home instead of go out. His new place in SF doesn’t have a living room (the owner of the house optimized it for maximum occupancy, making the living room and dining room into bedrooms), and I think he relishes in the fact that we have a couch, coffee table, and TV that is separate from our bedroom. It is nice. I dunno if we could ever live in a studio.
Chris and I also attended Sabrina’s engagement party last Saturday, so hooray for going out and doing stuff. It kinda wasn’t what I expected, but still nice. For some reason, it reminded me of those Filipino parties we always used to go to as a family when I was younger. Lots of food, chairs lined up against the wall instead of at the table, no shoes in the house, bunch of adults standing around and talking, and nothing for the kids to do. J
Anyway, I should try to sleep again. This sucks.
update at 9am.....neither my internet explorer or firefox will not work. i cant update my mcafee because it tries to open mozilla. chris says i have a virus. :(
Friday, February 27, 2009
List of Things to Do
Currently listening to: Daniel Beddingfield- If You're Not the One
Mood: nostalgic
I've always written down lists of "things to do". Last winter, i bought a 12 pack of what they call junior steno pads for my advanced kindergarteners who started getting bored with carpet activities. the original purpose for these junior steno pads (they're about 4"x6") was that these "smart and bored" kids could incorporate spelling and writing (skills that still challenged them) during the lessons they had already mastered but the rest of the class was still learning. look at my differentiated learning strategies!
anyway, since those days i've used the junior steno pads for my lists of things to do, as well as for general chore notes to chris while i'm away from the apt. i think i've gone through 2 steno pads, with 90% of the 120 pages entitled "Things to DO". sometimes i wonder why i have to write that at the top of each page. i already know what it's a list of. just like the list before it and the list before that.
so now i'm gonna try something somewhat new. lately i've thought of semi-big projects that i'd like to accomplish throughout the year. it's kinda out of the scope of my usual steno pad lists because those are mostly for daily chores. i like to feel accomplished and check things off as i go about my day (i'm sure everyone does). today, i will try to remember all the life changes and goals i have thought of recently and write them down here. let's see if i can check any of them off a year from now.
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car.
my mom always had music playing in the house when i was younger. i used to have a radio/alarm clock i'd listen to KWIN on when i was in high school. my roomies always had music blasting (simultaneously) at 82. i dont know what happened to my music-listening. i think i feel like i don't have time to listen to music anymore other than in my car while i'm driving to and from stockton. by myself. maybe music has just become more of a private thing for me. i don't know.
2) Read for fun.
i liked having Twilight to read while i was in the philippines, even if it wasn't intellectual at all. hopefully my future choices will have better vocabulary.
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
i enjoy biking bailey around. makes him a calmer dog. i feel like i should get into exercising myself, as well. gah, i hate running.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
it's ugly yo! i've been watching enough HGTV to do some good in my parent's living room. at least i think so. i just wish our carpet wasn't so horrendous. it really narrows down my color palette options. Olive Garden/Macaroni Grill green makes me think of their color schemes. hey, it works for them! only we're not americanized italian. or big pasta eaters.
5) Improve Vantage=teach my dad that he needs to be a little more practical, even if it means to be less giving.
my dad's a softy and i'm tired of people taking advantage.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
it's ridiculuous that nobody can stand up to her. i dont wanna haveta be the parent here, but someone's gotta take care of this problem.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
Getting frustrated doesn't help. Not helping doesn't help, either.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
j9's getting married! all my roomies are far away it seems. maybe i should sign onto AIM again. feel like i chatted with them while talking to them across the apt. one out of two is better than none. i have come to cringe at all phone calls in general (thanks, chris). maybe i can work up to that later. i'm pretty sure i tried calling nancy a few times, but maybe she's too cool for school now, or maybe she just got tired of me falling off the face of the earth all the time. i dunno.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
seriously!
10) Get a job. start my career.
seriously!
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
curtis said cooking is easier and less torture when you get comfortable cooking a couple things that you really think are delicious. prep time gets shorter and shorter the better you get at it. i just need to find something delicious that i can cook other than breakfast . :(
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
i think i could get pretty good at rock climbing. and they have a gym and free yoga classes there. what the heck am i doing sitting around all day???? i'm wasting 50 bux a month on sitting around! GAH! i'll never catch up and make my money worth it at this point.
more to come...maybe.
Mood: nostalgic
I've always written down lists of "things to do". Last winter, i bought a 12 pack of what they call junior steno pads for my advanced kindergarteners who started getting bored with carpet activities. the original purpose for these junior steno pads (they're about 4"x6") was that these "smart and bored" kids could incorporate spelling and writing (skills that still challenged them) during the lessons they had already mastered but the rest of the class was still learning. look at my differentiated learning strategies!
anyway, since those days i've used the junior steno pads for my lists of things to do, as well as for general chore notes to chris while i'm away from the apt. i think i've gone through 2 steno pads, with 90% of the 120 pages entitled "Things to DO". sometimes i wonder why i have to write that at the top of each page. i already know what it's a list of. just like the list before it and the list before that.
so now i'm gonna try something somewhat new. lately i've thought of semi-big projects that i'd like to accomplish throughout the year. it's kinda out of the scope of my usual steno pad lists because those are mostly for daily chores. i like to feel accomplished and check things off as i go about my day (i'm sure everyone does). today, i will try to remember all the life changes and goals i have thought of recently and write them down here. let's see if i can check any of them off a year from now.
Things to DO: 2009
1) Listen to music outside the confines of my car.
my mom always had music playing in the house when i was younger. i used to have a radio/alarm clock i'd listen to KWIN on when i was in high school. my roomies always had music blasting (simultaneously) at 82. i dont know what happened to my music-listening. i think i feel like i don't have time to listen to music anymore other than in my car while i'm driving to and from stockton. by myself. maybe music has just become more of a private thing for me. i don't know.
2) Read for fun.
i liked having Twilight to read while i was in the philippines, even if it wasn't intellectual at all. hopefully my future choices will have better vocabulary.
3) Bike Bailey at least 3x a week, and run him at least once a week when weather permits.
i enjoy biking bailey around. makes him a calmer dog. i feel like i should get into exercising myself, as well. gah, i hate running.
4) Redecorate the freakin living room.
it's ugly yo! i've been watching enough HGTV to do some good in my parent's living room. at least i think so. i just wish our carpet wasn't so horrendous. it really narrows down my color palette options. Olive Garden/Macaroni Grill green makes me think of their color schemes. hey, it works for them! only we're not americanized italian. or big pasta eaters.
5) Improve Vantage=teach my dad that he needs to be a little more practical, even if it means to be less giving.
my dad's a softy and i'm tired of people taking advantage.
6) Get my mom to stop gambling.
it's ridiculuous that nobody can stand up to her. i dont wanna haveta be the parent here, but someone's gotta take care of this problem.
7) Try to figure out a better way of dealing with my actions and emotions when it comes to family issues.
Getting frustrated doesn't help. Not helping doesn't help, either.
8) Get back in touch with my old friends.
j9's getting married! all my roomies are far away it seems. maybe i should sign onto AIM again. feel like i chatted with them while talking to them across the apt. one out of two is better than none. i have come to cringe at all phone calls in general (thanks, chris). maybe i can work up to that later. i'm pretty sure i tried calling nancy a few times, but maybe she's too cool for school now, or maybe she just got tired of me falling off the face of the earth all the time. i dunno.
9) Finish my stupid masters.
seriously!
10) Get a job. start my career.
seriously!
11) Learn how to cook at least a couple of dishes that taste good consistently.
curtis said cooking is easier and less torture when you get comfortable cooking a couple things that you really think are delicious. prep time gets shorter and shorter the better you get at it. i just need to find something delicious that i can cook other than breakfast . :(
12) Stop wasting my incredibly expensive Planet Granite membership.
i think i could get pretty good at rock climbing. and they have a gym and free yoga classes there. what the heck am i doing sitting around all day???? i'm wasting 50 bux a month on sitting around! GAH! i'll never catch up and make my money worth it at this point.
more to come...maybe.
